The fresh snow coated the ground lightly. Wind smacked my face. The cold whipped me around like a soccer ball. The hill, steep ahead of me. ‘Will I do it? Will I go down this hill?’ repeated in my head a hundred times. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go down the hill. My dad nodded at me to encourage me to go down the hill. My heart beat increased. My knees shook. This was my first blue hill. ‘What if I fall? What if I don’t make it to the bottom of the hill alive? I know that if I give up now I’ll never have the courage to go down the hill again. I have to do it. I have to. I tell myself it will be okay over a million times. I know that I can’t do it, but if my dad thinks I can, I won’t let him down. I move forward using my poles to turn to face toward my dad. I feel every muscle ache for the pain yet to come. I take one more glance down the hill. I turn toward my dad who is now staring at me, anxious to go down the hill. I nod back.